"Travel The World, Discover Yourself "

Tiny habits changed my life at Sea:

Photo of me doing my routine evening exercises

If there one project I've accomplished by being at Sea... it would be be Discoring My Self...Mastering the Animal that I am. Learning How to deal with these two guys who are always fighting in my head.. After reading just an Intro of the "Atomic Habit" by I've adapted to these new simple but life changing habits...like having your class of warm water before breakfast, skipping ropes in the morning, exercise breathing etc. instantly I left the "movee".. I got eager to doing activities / hobbies I used to enjoy before... writing, taking these kinda photos and Making CONTENT... which I've actually been making since late 2020... just got "too busy" "not too ready" to refine it. Well, with #LifeAtSea Nothing is Permanent. Today it's BBQ. Two days latter, you are chipping ships grab after while passing the unforgivingly Hot Equator.

Just Do You!

Picture of Me onboard a ship

 I've never considered myself as a great Leader... simply Because of the agreement I've subconsciously made of what a great leader's persona is supposed to be. Bold, Muscline with a deep voice... Everytime I get spotlight, my mind would race through those "definitions" and I would totally fumble my way through just to save the day. I knew I this had to change... I started Reading a Book "Quite" by Susan Cain.. which helped me understand   how I could use my "Fabulous " Personality into my favor and still be the Bad ass, intentionally Leader that  I was meant to be. I' be laughing and celebrating my embarrassing moments because Now, I feel no pressure to keep up with something that doesn't work for me. I lead them as Soft, low-toned and Quite as I am. #JustDoYou

"You Are Too Soft Mtanami"

You are Too Soft Mtanami

 These are the Words that my Mother would occasionally say... whenever I couldn't do a certain "job" because it was "too hard" for me... at the Point I did not have the answer... so I would just look at Her...hoping she will proceed " and you must do 1,2,3 inorder to be hard / strong?" But each time... they would be just those words, no advice on how to get rid of my softness. I now believe that Building your Confidence starts at home... how your parents treat you? how do they empower you? Do they tell you that you are Beautiful, Smart and Creative? Do they Compliment you each time you do a task well? All these things play a huge role on how much you value yourself as a child and how you'll carry yourself around your peers. I was around 13 Years Old.. when I became being Aware that I wasn't like my peers in my area. 

Growing up under my mother's strict hand, the most hard working woman I have ever known. She would sometimes jokingly say " I have balls inside of me". I believe my mother cared more what people / community thought of her than her children.. or perhaps me, his eldest son. I wish I had a better relationship with my parents but I never did, I despised them. At some nights I would pray that they die soon and when that finally happened. It was not quite liberating or glorious as I imagined it as a child. 

 

My mother had me when She was still in school. While she was doing Matric, in 1999, I was in Pre-School already. I believe life was better back then. She was still staying with her family in Waaihoek, a small township forty five minutes from Ladysmith. I imagine I was receiving all the love from that part of the family especially from my late grandmother, uMamkhulisa. I also do remember that she would take me to school... Leave me with lunch, usually uPhuthu and fried Egg. And at one point I remember that 'Ladysmith Black Mambazo', a Famous Scathamiya group from Ladysmith...visited our crechè. I was around Four I believe. 

My Mother has Always been Ambitious, which something that I believe I inherited from Her. When she moved to stay with my father at Msinga, the year was 2001. She took "itoho" as a teacher at the new primary school.. which later became My Primary school. Doing grade one, being taught my your mother, I don't wish it for anyone. Especially with the kind of woman I was dealing with. Apparently I was supposed to be the smartest in the class, cannot do no wrong or I would get embarrassed being beaten up with a  wooden stick in front of the class and outside, not only on the hands! all over my body. Like a removing feathers of a chicken...this is how I remember my mother being my teacher. I would get triple the punishment given to the rest of the class.

Photo of me in Bahulazi Area, where I grew up. Aug 2021

When we get home. Night time was study time....she would teach me topics, preparing me to show-off the next day at school. With my waist belt on her shoulder. Wrong answer...! "Whip!". That is how I was forced to be smart in school. Or at least that's how it started.  To be Continued in a Separate Blog.

Experience Climbing 'The Great Wall Of China || Visiting Forbidden City In Beijing, China

Climbing The Great Wall Of China

South Africans Excited to climb the great wall

A week Ago. My self and fellow South Africans had the lifetime experience to Climb the Great Wall of China. The temperature was -3 deg Celsius. Bekunyiwa! (it was hectic). But we got our Hero Medals though. Checkout our Vlog on yotube above.

History About The Great Wall:

The Great Wall is 2200 years old. A Man Spent 2 years hiking The Great Wall of China 🇨🇳. The 2nd of the 7 Wonders Of The World🌍. It took half a million Chinese citizens more than 10 years ‘day and night’ to build this 8 000 km long Wall, using hands no machine.

Why The Great Wall was built:

The Great Wall was built mainly to protect the people of china from their Northern enemies ‘The mangolens’ also know as The Hun. 

The wall served as a good defence mechanism. The tower was used to display signals I.e burning the smoke when the enemy is approaching.

"A Chinese saying: A Man who never climb a Great Wall is No Hero"

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Accepting my Truth

Is Being Gay a Crime?

I am one of many young south African gay lads in my early 20's. After spending my entire teenage hood afraid of being my self and expressing my feelings. Neither because I felt it was wrong and hence I was a mistake. I was always worried about everyone around me; my parents, my friends and family. questions like 

'What will they say, What if?' 

Ruled my world day in-day out. Yes it was painful. it even harder when your own family or friends are so homophobic.  

However, I always believed that my parents will accept me and sometimes I was convinced they probably know already. 

You are surely wondering how did I make it out of this dark place??

1. Watching LGBTQI + Movies

Watching LGBTQI related movies did not only help me gain courage to come out but also challenged my perception about being gay. why is straight the default? straight people need to come out too.

Love Simon, 

Released in 2018, the best gay film that I have watched this year. it is very true and relatable. This film encouraged me to believe in my truth and rights to live and express my self openly as a young gay man.

Pose

This is a dance related show, starring Billy Porter. It is very entertaining and just shows the beautiful, challenging and extravagant side of the culture. Very interesting to watch.

2. Making Gay Friends

Meeting different people and relating our stories together made me even more confident about my self, what I wear and how I conduct my self apologetically. 

Gay dating Apps

This is one of the easiest ways to make gay friends or partners. It is one click away.

3. Accepting 'Who are You'

When it all said and done, it is up to you to accept and love yourself for who you really are. Then everybody else will do the same.

4. Coming out of the Closet

This is the most difficult part but also the easiest, my coming out was never serious because I stopped worrying about 'what will they say' or 'what are they going to think of me'. 

I put my self and my own happiness  first. Being in a closet can close many opportunities and blessings for you. Because God blessed us differently and your blessing and talent will be better revealed and utilised when you live life being your 100% self.

There are so many ways of coming out, it depend on what you value in life. I thought my coming out should be special and beneficial to me, So I created a Youtube Channel. My intention was to do Vlogging channel where people get to really see my personality. I also used catchy titles to attract viewers and that was the happiest moment of my life.

I hope you enjoyed this article and you find courage to live your happy life. Please share your stories in the comment section below. Love you Xoxo.

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